Jun 25, 2007
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Jun 4, 2007
the homeless woman
a woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner
the woman took out her billfold
extracted ten dollars and asked
“if i give you this money
will you buy some chocolate with it instead of dinner”
“no”
i had to stop chocolate years ago
the homeless woman replied
“will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food”
the woman asked
“no”
i don’t waste time shopping
the homeless woman said
“i need to spend all my time trying to stay alive”
will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food”
the woman asked
“are you NUTS”
replied the homeless woman
“i haven’t had my hair done in 20 years”
“well”
said the woman
“i’m not going to give you the money
instead
i’m going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight”
the homeless woman was astounded
“won’t your hubby be furious with you for doing that
i know i’m dirty
and i probably smell pretty disgusting”
the woman replied
“that’s okay
it’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping
hair appointments
and chocolate”
Jun 3, 2007
changing gates [ joke of the day ]
at the airport for a business trip
i settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at gate 35
then i heard the voice on the public address system saying
“we apologize for the inconvenience
but delta flight 570 will board from gate 41”
so my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to gate 41
not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that flight 570 would in fact be boarding from gate 35
so again we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate
just as we were settling down
the public address voice spoke again
“thank you for participating in delta’s physical fitness program”